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A Murderer's Guide to Cleaning

And Other Stories from My Life as a Probation Officer

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A Murderer's Guide to Cleaning

By: Elizabeth Baxter
Narrated by: Antonia Bearmish, Elizabeth Baxter
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Elizabeth Baxter has heard it all. Thieves, rapists, drug dealers, burglars, murderers, abusers and arsonists - they've all confided in her.

Some are harder to shake than others. There's sweet, baby-faced Stella who hurled a brick through her ex's window and threatened to cut off his... well, you get the picture. Jake, who burned down his grandfather's shed and prized model railway collection. And who could forget Steve, who set up a complex marmite-based distillery in his cell. The moonshine wasn't for drinking though, but for cleaning. He remains, in Elizabeth's professional opinion, Britain's most fastidious murderer.

Recalling her 25 years in Britain's probation service, Elizabeth Baxter offers a fresh perspective on care within the criminal justice system. Warm and humane, A Murderer's Guide to Cleaning pays tribute to the work of probation officers everywhere, who not only protect the public, but often act as the final safety net for society's most vulnerable, from teenage asylum seekers to survivors of domestic abuse.

©2026 Elizabeth Baxter (P)2026 Bolinda Publishing Crime Freedom & Security Law Politics & Government Social Sciences Murder Thief
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Critic reviews

'Elizabeth Baxter sheds a forensic professional light on the complexities involved in supervising those who commit crimes.' (Peter Wright, former Chief Probation Officer & Probation Trust Chief Executive)
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Really enjoyed this book, the authors honesty about the job then and now, as well as about themselves was really fascinating, sad at times but also uplifting to hear about rehabilitation and how the probation service really does want to improve people's lives and make a difference despite being screwed over by funding and changes made by those outside of the organisation. Thank you Elizabeth for the insight. I have played the introduction chapter to students in my classes at school.

Excellent

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This was gripping, funny, warm and informative. I was absolutely invested in each case study and the empathetic way Elizabeth talks about these 'offenders' Humanises them so much so that you really connect and understand them. The data and official stats she shares helps to paint a fuller picture after hearing the real stories. I absolutely loved the personal anecdotes she put in there and how she didn't remain cold and impersonal in her accounts of her experiences. A must read that I would recommend to any lover of true crime or anyone really as this book has everything

Compassionate warm and witty

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