Two weeks off and somehow we lived nine lives. Sam kicks things off with her annual pilgrimage to Lesbian Palooza, where it rained nonstop, the cabin had the insulation of a cardboard box, and she nearly froze to death but taking tequila shots at 9 AM helped. An edible later sent her into a silent spiritual journey while the lesbians assumed she was dying. (She was not. She was vibing.)

The she shuffled off to chorus recitals featuring Eye of the Tiger AND unexpected African tribal numbers, dance marathons that lasted longer than the Olympics, and a Summer House reunion so chaotic she literally ran out of a recital to make it home in time.

They also cover:
• A political fundraiser full of homosexuals and zero gratitude from the candidate
• A surprise 80th birthday party that nearly became a medical emergency
• A reptile‑themed children’s party featuring a vinegar‑shooting bug (yes, really)
• Golf, illness, French onion soup, spicy wings, and a cassata cake that changed lives
• A marathon of movies, documentaries, and unhinged TV, from Sally Field to a dressage scandal that absolutely did not need to go that hard
• Sam reading an entire thriller in one day because she is, in fact, built different

It’s Pride Month, the chaos is high, the homophobes are uncomfortable, and we’re thriving. 🌈✨