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Klopp Actually

(Imaginary) Life with Football's Most Sensible Heartthrob

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Klopp Actually

By: Laura Lexx
Narrated by: Laura Lexx
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Inspired by the viral tweet: 'If I ever met Jürgen Klopp I'd say "omg if we have a baby we should call it Klipp" just so he'd raise an eyebrow at me and tell me I'm a moron and I'd be so naked by the time he'd finished doing that....'

In these uncertain times we all need a coping mechanism. And Laura Lexx has found the obvious one - imagining life married to the sensible, no-nonsense man of our dreams, Jürgen Klopp. She thinks maybe he has something to do with football? More importantly, he definitely knows how to efficiently stack a dishwasher and would tell you honestly if you were being unreasonable about a colleague. 

From job interviews to furniture shopping in IKEA to making a birthday cake for their daughter, Klipp, Klopp Actually is a hilarious, warm and deeply silly diary of life with everyone's favourite baseball-cap-wearing, bespectacled German football manager. 

'I shiver, my skin breaking out into tiny goosebumps. "Are you cold?" He whispers, his lips brushing my ear, making the fine hairs ripple. "A little." I grin, pressing against his thigh. He runs a hand down the curve of my spine.... "You should put a jumper on."'

©2020 Laura Lexx (P)2020 Hodder & Stoughton Limited Literature & Fiction Satire Comedy Sports Witty Funny
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Critic reviews

"I'd love to read a whole book of Laura's funny, clever, sweet imagination...it made me laugh a huge amount!" (Marian Keyes)

"Laura is so funny and I can't wait to read this book and I hope it isn't awkward when I actually marry Jürgen Klopp." (Sara Pascoe)

"It's rare to find brilliant new talent, rarer still to discover it on twitter but Laura's thread on Klopp was my highlight of the year. I cannot wait to see what she does in book form. I shall devour it. A great shining comedic talent." (Emma Kennedy)
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A funny and engaging book that is skillfully read by Laura herself who is sure to be a future national treasure

excellent listen

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I can't recommend highly enough. This book should be mined for readings at weddings. I wish it had been available when I got hitched.

Hilarious and strangely moving!

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Funny and well told. Perhaps aimed more at women. Enjoyable all the same. Nice and short.

Entertaining

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brilliantly written and beautifully delivered, came recommended to me by friends and I wasn't disappointed!

Hilarious imagination!!

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I followed the beginning of this on Twitter and I'm happy to report that the book lived up to expectations. Laura is all of us, her Jürgen is a brilliant example of healthy, well-balanced, executive function that we can only hope to have in our lives as partners or gift to ourselves and all with an impressive talent for keeping innuendo fresh.

Avoid actual footy & be entertained instead!

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