You Don’t Look Like a German
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3 Months Free
£5.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly.
Offer ends on 15 July 2026 at 11:59 BST.
Buy Now for £5.49
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Narrated by:
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Louisa Lin
A face. A sentence. A judgement.
“You don’t look like a German.”
Birgit Maria Kemphues turns expat life in the UAE into a rapid-fire comedy of wrong guesses, identity quizzes, and strangers who treat your face like public property. One day it’s Arabic coffee in a majlis. Next day it’s Germans aggressively sorting recycling into 17 bins while debating pretzel temperature. Airports? Full theatre: “Where are you REALLY from?” “Speak German.” Maybe sing the anthem. (Most Germans can’t.)
Press play. Let them guess.
©2026 Birgit Maria Kemphues (P)2026 Birgit Maria Kemphues
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