You stand in the ready meal aisle for ten minutes. You change your coffee order every time. Someone asks what you fancy doing at the weekend and your mind goes oddly blank.

Not because you’re easy-going. Not because you don’t care. Because somewhere along the way, you stopped trusting your own preferences.

If you grew up in an environment where your likes, dislikes, wants, and needs were ignored, mocked, overridden, or treated as a problem, learning what you actually prefer can become surprisingly difficult. This episode explores how toxic family dynamics, masking, and neurodivergent processing can combine to disconnect you from your own preferences and leave you constantly searching for the “right” answer instead of your own.

Resources mentioned:Research on self-concept clarity and childhood adversityLaura Hull’s work on masking and camouflagingResearch into autistic masking, identity, and mental health

Go deeper:The companion episode of Is This A Thing? explores masking, camouflaging, and performance in more depth, including why years of adapting to other people’s expectations can leave you disconnected from your own identity and preferences. Available on The Hub: liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub

Aperio Profiles:Neurodivergent-informed cognitive and personality profiling for individuals, managers, and HR. Not a diagnosis. A functional map of how your brain actually works.

aperioprofiles.co.uk