TW: outing, homophobia, sudden death of a parent, complicated grief, body image.

Em was outed at 13 — before she ever got to say the words herself — and spent years being told she was too young to know who she was. This episode is about what it took to stop hiding: coming out for real on her own terms, finding her wife Paige, and building a family the way they wanted it. It's also about loss. In 2024 she lost her mom suddenly, with a thousand things still unsaid between them, right as she was stepping into motherhood herself. We talk about grief that doesn't come with a clean story, the voice from childhood that never fully goes quiet, and what it means to become the parent you needed when you were small.

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The second Becks was born, Becky called Alex in a full panic and asked one question: "What account am I supposed to open for him?" Same energy as everyone who's ever Googled "529 vs UTMA" at 11pm. In this episode, Becky admits she had no idea where to even start, and Alex breaks down every kid investment account without making any parent feel like they're already behind.

The Solution

• Why the guilt parents feel is real, and why you can't pour from an empty cup (you can borrow for college, you cannot borrow for retirement)
• 529 plans: strong tax advantages and high contribution potential, but locked into education and penalized for non-qualified withdrawals
• UTMA custodial accounts: flexible and not tied to education, but your kid gets full control at 18 or 21, plus the "kiddie tax" and financial aid impacts to watch for
• Roth IRAs for kids: decades of tax-free growth, but only if your child has legitimate earned income (sorry, newborns don't qualify)
• Brokerage accounts: total flexibility, accessible anytime, and the account Alex and Becky both chose for their kids, with exactly why and how they set it up
• What to do if you're not financially stable yet, because there are still free, low-cost ways to start

This week's homework: If you're not stable yet, open a high-yield savings account in your kid's name and funnel birthday and holiday money into it, or just start building money habits at home. If you are stable, pick the ONE account that fits your family, not your friend's seven accounts on Instagram.

Want to ask Alex which account makes sense for YOUR family? Our Patreon members get direct access to her on Discord to ask anything → patreon.com/beckyhayter

Because money is emotional, and you deserve to feel safe with it. Love you, mean it.

Try Fidelity: https://fidelity.app.link/e/zN0pCpYeUZb

Try Monarch: Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

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Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed descriptions of domestic violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control.

Lauren spent four years inside a relationship that cost her almost everything — her safety, her money, her freedom, and pieces of herself she's still recovering. She left with a one-year-old son, no car, and nowhere to go. What happened next wasn't a clean start. It was a slow, unsteady crawl back toward a life that actually looked like her.

This is what surviving looks like when it isn't pretty.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.