Dr. Rob and Tami answer participant questions about how to reintegrate sex, self-pleasure for partners, the pain of a sexless relationship and the role of "hopium". They offer perspective on demanding repair, seeking connection and the power of taking care of yourself no matter what your partner is or isn't doing.

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] What can I do to reclaim my sexuality?

[11:02] Should I insist on my partner moving out or do an in-house separation?

[16:42] When sex addiction isn't the only problem.

[19:32] How can I get my intimate needs met?

[29:05] Questions you really don't want the answers to.

[34:02] How can I build shame resiliency?

[39:56] Where do we start with sexual reconnection?

[42:51] Moving beyond objectification.

[48:03] I feel he broke it, and he needs to fix it.

[54:41] The power of community and connection.

[58:20] Is masturbation sexual betrayal?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• "Your courage and willingness to talk about these issues will get you halfway there."

• "Do not threaten something that you're not willing to follow through on."

• "You have zero control over him. The only thing you can take care of is you."

Dr. Rob and Tami answer participant questions about boundaries, chronic betrayal, and recovery timelines. They address the pregnant partner, the betrayed spouse with an STD, and the mother of teens who wants to keep her children from following down the path of addiction and betrayal.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:30] Can ketamine EMDR help my betrayed wife?

[7:10] I'm pregnant. Should I stop checking in on his recovery?

[14:35] Boundaries are set to keep you safe.

[16:58] Why should he stop acting out when it has increased the intensity of our sex life?

[24:09] Can an addict like me actually come out of this on the other side?

[34:10] Am I really the victim?

[36:52] How can I build trust after chronic betrayal?

[40:26] He acted out in my one deal-breaker way. Now what?

[47:30] How do couples recovery from sexual betrayal and compromised health?

[50:48] How can I talk to my boys so they don't go down the same path as their father?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• "He should be showing you with his actions when his recovery is solid."

• "He's going to do what he's going to do whether you ask or you don't."

• "You have to do what you need to do to take care of you regardless of what he does."

• "Addicts are always either moving forward in recovery or sliding back."

Chelsey Brooke Cole and Tami discuss narcissistic personality structure and how to identify if someone is a narcissist. They consider myths of narcissism, the narcissistic cycle and how hoovering shows up, and the look and feel of various narcissistic types. They then answer participant questions about narcissist behavior, options for healing, and a realistic look at a future in a partnership with a narcissist.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:20] Hoovering and other narcissistic buzzwords.

[3:58] Chelsey's personal experience with narcissism.

[5:01] Debunking common myths about narcissism.

[9:20] Typical behavoirs of a narcissist.

[13:20] The defense mechanisms for the insecure, fragile ego of a narcissist.

[19:53] Characteristics of the six types of narcissists.

[25:05] Sex addiction and the narcissist.

[31:57] The narcissistic cycle of abuse, including hoovering.

[37:49] What triggers the Hoover phase?

[48:37] What happens if you decide to stay?

[49:45] Are there drawbacks to seeking a narcissist diagnosis?

[51:27] How can you gray rock a narcissist so they don't get escalation tactics?

[53:02] Is it a bad idea to point out narcissistic tendencies in your partner?

[54:09] Is narcissism treatable?

[56:17] Does my partner's behavior indicate narcissism?

[58:10] Do narcissists know what they are doing?

[1:00:21] What is the best approach to address the abuse of narcissistic traits used to self-protect and control?

[1:02:03] Can a narcissist develop empathy for their partner, and what does treatment involve?

[1:04:31] Is narcissism a mental health condition?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• "Narcissism is not a diagnosis, it's a personality style and trait."

• "All narcissists, even the ones who will self-report having high self esteem, are subconsciously insecure pathologically."

• "Narcissistic abuse is like being in the middle of a tornado but not knowing it's a tornado."

• "Feeling desperate is not the same as being accountable."

• "Real accountability ends with you, Hoover statements always end with them."