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Sense of Self

Sense of Self

By: Dr. Gowri Aragam The Mission Entertainment Andrew C. Coles Elizabeth Rose Allison Keeley
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Sense of Self showcases women of color who are confronting and challenging the stories they believe about themselves. Conversations between psychiatrist Dr. Gowri Aragam and our guests demonstrate—but do not preach—about therapeutic concepts, particularly personal narrative, its origins, and the power of reclaiming one's own story.2024 Sense of Self Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Jyoti Chand: @Mamajotes on How Quitting Alcohol Changed Everything

    Jyoti Chand: @Mamajotes on How Quitting Alcohol Changed Everything
    May 27 2026
    Trigger warning: This episode contains open discussion of a suicide attempt, alcohol dependence, self-harm, and sexual assault. Please take care of yourself, if you choose to listen. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You are not alone. Jyoti Chand grew up the youngest child and only girl in a Punjabi immigrant family in West Covina, California, in the middle of a 95% Mexican neighborhood, in a gang-infiltrated area, in a household where her dad ironed her clothes, did the laundry, cooked the food, and showed up to every parent-teacher conference while her mom worked nights. She was spoiled with love. She was the class clown with a binder of printed jokes. She was the smart one, the good girl, the straight-A kid who also snuck out to Bong Fest, talked back to everyone, and graduated high school at 16. She was also someone who had no idea that alcohol was quietly shaping her entire story. In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Jyoti Chand, known to hundreds of thousands as Mama Jotes, a mom, a content creator, founder of Jyotes by Jyoti Chand, author of the graphic novel Fitting Indian, and one of the most genuinely funny and disarmingly honest voices on the internet. What starts as a warm, hilarious conversation about growing up first-generation in LA becomes something much more honest. A story about dual identity, undiagnosed ADHD, inherited anxiety and depression, a suicide attempt at 18 that her university tried to quietly erase, abusive relationships she didn't think she deserved better than, and the slow realization that the substance she thought was just fun was actually the main character in a story she desperately wanted to rewrite. And then she stopped drinking. And everything changed. 00:00 Cold Open and Retakes 00:54 Mom Life Small Talk 01:49 Name Origin and Fireworks 04:14 Growing Up West Covina 07:18 Assimilating and Blending In 11:57 Home Life and Superdad 16:17 Sibling Chaos and Teen Rebellion 22:10 Comedy as Survival 28:09 High School Anxiety and Coping 33:00 Family Mental Health Patterns 35:37 Modeling Coping Skills 36:20 Breaking Generational Cycles 37:27 Growing Up Too Fast 38:24 College Freedom Party Life 43:17 When Drinking Feeds Anxiety 45:00 Alcohol and Parenting Boundaries 47:18 Good Girl Bad Girl Split 52:51 Breakup Depression Spiral 56:40 Hospital Hold and Dorm Fallout 59:35 Therapy Break the Cycle 01:07:30 Writing as Healing Path 01:11:39 Self Worth and Relationships 01:12:41 Choosing Love Through Discomfort 01:15:01 Brunch Meltdown and the Ring 01:18:13 Reparative Love and Co Regulation 01:23:31 Alcohol After Marriage and Motherhood 01:27:20 Moderation Fails and Pandemic Spiral 01:28:23 Dry January and Quit Like a Woman 01:35:19 Sobriety Fuels Creativity and Growth 01:43:02 Self Esteem and Resilience Muscle 01:48:06 Who I Am Now and Closing About Our Guest: Jyoti Chand, known online as Mama Jotes, is a content creator, author, and advocate for first-generation Americans navigating identity, mental health, and sobriety. Her graphic novel Fitting Indian follows a 16-year-old first-generation American girl navigating mental health struggles, dual identity, and the pressure to belong everywhere and nowhere at once. She lives in the Midwest with her husband, a child psychiatrist who is not allowed to "psychiatrize" her, and their three kids. Connect with Jyoti:https://www.instagram.com/mamajotes/https://www.amazon.com/Fitting-Indian-Jyoti-Chand/ Connect with Sense of Self: Subscribe for more episodes like this: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sense-of-self/id1742905024 Follow the Sense of Self Podcast: http://instagram.com/senseofself.podcast Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam: Instagram: http://instagram.com/drgowriaragam Website: https://www.drgowriaragam.com/ Edited by: Briana Mittan Produced by: Gowri Aragam and Briana Mittan A note on ethics, process, and safety: The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
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    1 hr and 11 mins
  • Pooja Bavishi: The Malai Ice Cream Founder on the Belonging she Built, One Flavor at a Time

    Pooja Bavishi: The Malai Ice Cream Founder on the Belonging she Built, One Flavor at a Time
    May 13 2026

    Pooja Bavishi grew up knowing exactly who she was at home. Gujarati Jain, deeply proud of her heritage, fluent in the language of her culture and her family. But the moment her family moved from an inclusive tight-knit community in Pennsylvania to Charlotte, North Carolina, something shifted. The world around her didn't accept her fully, and for years she couldn't fully explain why.

    In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Pooja Bavishi, founder of Malai, a Brooklyn-based ice cream company that has become one of the most beloved and culturally significant food brands in the country. What starts as a conversation about ice cream quickly becomes something much deeper. A story about belonging, about the cost of feeling othered, about the defense mechanisms we build to protect ourselves, and about what happens when you stop waiting for a community that feels like home and decide to build one yourself.

    One flavor at a time.

    Connect with Pooja Bavishi:
    https://www.instagram.com/pooja_bavishi_/
    https://www.malai.co/
    https://www.instagram.com/malai_icecream/

    Connect with Sense of Self:
    Subscribe for more episodes like this: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sense-of-self/id1742905024
    Follow the Sense of Self Podcast: http://instagram.com/senseofself.podcast

    Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:
    Instagram: http://instagram.com/drgowriaragam
    Website: https://www.drgowriaragam.com/

    00:10 Meet Pooja of Malai
    02:40 The Meaning of Puja
    10:55 Belonging in Pennsylvania
    16:37 Culture Shock in Charlotte
    33:38 Sisterhood and fairness
    35:12 Craving Indian community
    37:41 Intimidated by desi peers
    41:29 Malai as identity unlock
    52:03 Founder lows and letting go

    A note on ethics, process, and safety:

    • The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
    • Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 7 mins
  • KJ Miler: Mented Cosmetics Founder on Depression, Near-Bankruptcy and Embracing her whole self

    KJ Miler: Mented Cosmetics Founder on Depression, Near-Bankruptcy and Embracing her whole self
    Apr 29 2026

    KJ is the nickname she chose, the armor she built, the stage she never stopped standing on. But behind the confidence and the cultural commentary and the perfectly matched lipstick is Kristen: the middle child who felt like the ugly duckling, the founder who nearly didn't make it out, the mother whose daughter became her reason to keep going.

    In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Kristen Jones Miller, better known as KJ, co-founder of Mented Cosmetics, host of the Queen Things podcast, content creator, professor, and soon-to-be author, for the conversation behind the brand.

    What unfolds is a story about identity built layer by layer: from a girl in Columbus who learned to be funny because she had to, to an HBS grad who walked into entrepreneurship knowing the odds and doing it anyway, to a founder who spent a year watching her company deteriorate in real time while quietly, privately, almost silently falling apart. And about what it looks like to sell the thing you built from your own wounds, and somehow find your way back to loving it again.

    This one is equal parts hilarious, devastating, and deeply alive.

    Meet KJ!
    Kristen Jones Miller, known as KJ, is the co-founder of Mented Cosmetics, a beauty brand celebrating the beauty of darker skin tones, which she co-founded in 2017 out of Harvard Business School. She is the creator and host of the Queen Things podcast, a content creator, a professor at Ohio State University, and a soon-to-be author. She lives in Ohio with her husband K'idar, and their daughter Kayla.

    Connect with KJ:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjmiller/
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iam_kjmiller
    Queen Things Podcast: https://tr.ee/I0h4kIx-e1
    Mented Cosmetics: https://www.mentedcosmetics.com/

    Connect with Sense of Self:
    Subscribe for more episodes like this: AppleSense of Self
    Follow the Sense of Self Podcast:instagram.com/senseofself.podcast
    www.senseofselfpod.com

    Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:
    Instagram: instagram.com/drgowriaragam
    Website: Drgowriaragam.com

    00:00 Chasing What Lights You Up
    00:33 Meet KJ and the Show
    03:26 Origins of the Name KJ
    04:14 Middle Child Roots
    07:11 Privilege and Expectations
    10:55 Idyllic Columbus Bubble
    12:21 Skin Tone and Humor
    15:14 KJ as Armor
    18:37 Meeting Her Husband
    21:02 College to Business School
    23:37 Entrepreneurship North Star
    28:52 Building Mented Beauty
    33:01 Founder Foundation Talk
    33:51 Oprah Favorite Things High
    35:22 Maternity Leave Cash Crunch
    36:56 Highs Lows Reality Check
    39:08 Postpartum Depression Signs
    40:07 Zoloft Decision Relief
    43:08 Losing Optimism Signal
    47:09 Reunion Breakdown 2023
    49:39 Con Artist Deal Spiral
    50:35 Board Ultimatum Hail Mary
    52:37 Vulnerability Survival Mode
    56:27 Relief After Sale
    57:59 Content Creator Era
    01:00:10 Multihyphenate Identity
    01:02:30 Parenting Passion First
    01:03:54 Final Thanks Subscribe

    This episode includes discussion of postpartum depression and suicidal ideation, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you find yourself experiencing difficult emotions, please consider pausing the episode, returning at another time, and reaching out to a trusted person or a professional.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self.

    This episode was edited by Brie Mittan
    This episode was produced by Dr. Gowri Aragam and Brie Mittan

    A note on ethics, process, and safety:

    • The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
    • Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 4 mins
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