Originally released in January of 2026 as Episode 7, Lara sits down with her therapist, Kelly Quarles, for a real-life look at what healing can actually feel like—messy, layered, hopeful, and very human. Kelly shares her path from journalism to trauma therapy, why she believes trauma isn’t only “big T” events, and how therapy can help when your world flips upside down.

Together, they revisit Lara’s early days in therapy after a major life upheaval—grieving the loss of the life she thought she had, the friendships that fell apart, and a future dream (including the possibility of another baby) that suddenly felt out of reach. Kelly names what Lara was carrying: complex grief, stacked in layers, and validates that “being strong” doesn’t mean rushing past sadness.

They also get practical about mental health support: Lara opens up about antidepressants, a tough attempt to taper off, and how medication can be a powerful tool to “turn the volume down” enough to do the deeper work.

The conversation closes on growth—Lara’s breakthroughs, new parts of her personality emerging, and even the “fun” healing goals (a tattoo, touching a snake, and skydiving… two out of three so far). They also touch on parenting, why men need therapy, and why therapy can be useful even when you’re not in crisis—and healing isn’t a straight line.

Book your appointment in Mt. Pleasant or Charleston, SC, with Kelly's team at, https://guidedhealingclinicaltherapy.com/.

For the Season 1 finale of Midlife Mess, I'm joined by my favorite guest ever—my daughter, Caroline.

We chat about summer break, dance recitals, animal reports, pool days, upcoming vacations, favorite colors, dream houses, and what it's like being 8 years old. Along the way, Caroline shares her thoughts on third grade, growing up, our pets Theo and Gracie, and life in our newly renovated (and perpetually under-construction) house.

Of course, no Midlife Mess episode would be complete without a few unexpected detours, including stories about runaway cats, backyard wildlife, and the time I had to face one of my biggest fears: a snake in the backyard.

This episode is a sweet, funny snapshot of motherhood, childhood, and the beautiful chaos of summer.

Season 2 will return when school starts back in August.

Vote for Theo in the Lowcountry Dog Magazine calendar contest:
https://www.lowcountrydog.com/modelcontest

Connect with Midlife Mess:
Instagram: @midlifemesspod

If you're enjoying the podcast, please follow, rate, review, and share with a friend. It helps more than you know.

New episodes over Summer Break are tough, so this is the first in my Summer Flashback Friday Series! This is a good one to start with...Lauren is insightful and our gym-convos are, of course, unhinged!

Enjoy!

Lara’s first guest is here—her personal trainer, Lauren Michi—and this episode is equal parts funny, real, and motivating. They talk about what training looks like in midlife, how the right trainer becomes a trusted person (aka “gym therapy”), and why strength training matters more than ever.

Lara shares her 2025 injury story: a fall that shattered and dislocated her left elbow, surgery, months of recovery, and the moment she decided to stop settling for “functional” and start rebuilding real strength. Lauren breaks down how injuries create imbalance, how to train safely around limitations, and why the scale isn’t the best measure of progress—especially for women navigating perimenopause.

They also touch on fitness and diet trends (weighted vests, no-carb confusion, protein obsession, GLP-1s and protecting muscle mass), and wrap with a Charleston spotlight on Forge: a clean, contract-free, 24/7 private gym with capped membership and a welcoming setup for strength and functional training.

Check out more info that Lauren recommends on weighted vests:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/exercise-and-fitness/what-are-the-benefits-of-walking-with-a-weighted-vest

https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/should-you-walk-with-weighted-vest

What if the Burned Haystack Method works...and you're still left wondering where all the needles are?

After finishing Burn the Haystack and diving back into online dating, Lara expected to have a clearer strategy. Instead, she found herself asking much bigger questions about modern dating, self-worth, independence, and what it means to be a woman in midlife.

In this episode, Lara reflects on her real-world experience applying Dr. Jennie Young's Burned Haystack Method, why it helped her trust her intuition, and how it forced her to confront some uncomfortable truths about dating apps, companionship, and the stories many women were raised to believe.

This isn't just a conversation about dating. It's about being part of a generation caught between two competing messages: be independent, but also find your happily-ever-after.

Topics discussed:

• Why the Burned Haystack Method feels so empowering
• Intuition vs. overthinking: what if "the cringe" is actually data?
• Lara's Bumble experiment and the "unicorn" that wasn't
• Can you burn too much hay?
• Are the people we're looking for even on dating apps?
• The illusion of control in modern dating
• Why online dating can quietly become a mirror for self-worth
• Princess culture, independence, and the women caught in the middle
• Wanting partnership without wanting dependence
• The difference between being rescued and being supported
• What midlife women really mean when they say they want a "competent" partner
• Raising daughters who don't have to choose between strength and softness
• Why true equality may mean having the freedom to want whatever life you choose

Whether you're single, partnered, divorced, dating, or simply trying to make sense of modern relationships, this episode is a thoughtful exploration of love, identity, and the messy reality of midlife.

Books Mentioned:
Burn the Haystack Dating Method by Dr. Jennie Young

Connect with Lara:
Follow along and join the conversation on Instagram: @midlifemesspod

This week on The Midlife Mess, I’m diving into the viral dating philosophy from Burn the Haystack by Dr. Jennie Young — and honestly? I feel personally attacked in the best possible way.

I break down:

• What the “Burn the Haystack” method actually is
• How critical discourse analysis applies to dating profiles
• Why language reveals more than people realize
• The difference between intuition and rationalization
• “Attraction of deprivation” and why inconsistency can feel addictive
• The rhetorical red flags hiding in plain sight on dating apps
• Why “fluent in sarcasm” may not be as charming as men think it is
• Why online dating should be treated more like a job search than ordering takeout

I also confess that I got back on Bumble and paid for premium to test this method in real life…for journalism. Obviously.

This episode is funny, a little unhinged, deeply analytical, and ultimately about learning to stop rationalizing people who are showing you exactly who they are.

If you’ve ever:

• ignored your gut
• confused anxiety with chemistry
• over-explained bad behavior
• stayed too long in “potential”
• or wondered whether you’re being “too picky”…

…this one’s for you.

And yes, I’ll report back on whether I actually find any “needles.” 🔥🪡

This week on The Midlife Mess, I’m talking about love—but not just the romantic kind.

After revisiting 8 Rules of Love by Jay Shetty, I found myself reflecting on something that hit even harder this time around: society teaches us to place romantic love at the top of the pyramid, while often overlooking the many other forms of love that shape our lives just as deeply.

As someone navigating singleness in midlife, this conversation felt personal.

I talk honestly about the tension between wanting partnership while also learning to love yourself more deeply. About how singleness can feel peaceful one day and painful the next. About the life you pictured versus the life you have now—and how to stop treating your current chapter like a waiting room.

We also get into:

• Why self-love is more about boundaries than bubble baths
• How we confuse chemistry with compatibility
• The patterns midlife helps us finally recognize
• Why peace matters more than potential now
• The love of friendship, children, family, pets, and community
• Building a richly loved life—even before romance arrives

If you’re single, partnered, healing, hopeful, or somewhere in between, this one is for you.

This week, Lara shares a very real recap of the past couple of weeks—from spring break comparison spirals and a meaningful trip with her daughter, to friendship accountability, letting go of someone from her past, and processing tragic loss in her community.

This episode is about motherhood, grief, emotional growth, and what it looks like to hold joy and heartbreak at the same time.

In this episode:

• spring break pressure and comparison
• friendship, insecurity, and accountability
• love, longing, and not sending the text
• a sweet mother-daughter trip to Biltmore
• a funny Banana Ball mix-up
• grief, parenting fears, and talking to kids about hard things

Content note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and grief. If you or someone you love is struggling, you’re not alone. You can call or text 988 in the U.S. for support.

This week on The Midlife Mess, Lara shares a deeply personal story about receiving anonymous text messages from burner phone numbers — and the bigger truth it revealed about shame, secrecy, power, and what it means to exist as a woman in the world.

What starts as an uncomfortable experience becomes a larger conversation about unwanted attention, body confidence in midlife, the emotional labor women carry, and why attraction is not the problem — entitlement is.

Lara talks about the power dynamic behind anonymity, the misplaced shame women so often end up carrying, and why good men have a responsibility not just to behave well themselves, but to hold other men accountable.

This episode is for women who have ever been made to feel uncomfortable for simply existing — and for men who want to better understand the female experience and help create a safer world.

In this episode:

• Anonymous texts, secrecy, and power
• Midlife body confidence and unwanted attention
• Why women carry shame that isn’t theirs
• The mental load women carry around safety
• Why attraction does not equal access
• What men can do better