He was thirteen when he started stealing his dying mother's pain pills so he wouldn't have to feel her leaving.

By the time Ashton met me, he'd buried his mom at her funeral and buried himself in everything that would numb it — pills, cocaine, anything to sedate. He'd cheated on the mother of his daughter and told her he didn't want to be with her anymore. He was angry at the world and angrier at God. In his words: "I told myself I hate God."

That was three years ago.

On this episode, Ashton is 22. Married to Emma — the girl he's loved since he was 14. Two kids, one on the way. Sober. And when I asked him what life is like now, he said: "It's pretty beautiful, actually."

This is a conversation about the long road between those two sentences. About a young man who was so close to losing his whole family — and didn't. About what it costs to stop running, and who has to be in your corner when you finally do. He said it plainer than I could: "That's not who I am anymore."

This is the work. This is why we do it. And this is why we are building something beyond The Yellow Coat Club.

There are young men out there in need of formation, in need of brotherhood. For 3 years, Ashton has stayed in the fold, committed, and I have watched his life radically change. It is the fruit in his life that INVICTUS is being built from... Stay tuned for the next podcast to learn more.

Nobody has it figured out. Not your parents. Not the person in the room who looks like they do. Not you — and that's okay.

In this episode, Sean gets honest about what becoming a parent revealed: that the weight of decision-making never goes away, it just changes with time and perspective. The goal was never a life without problems. It was always about who you become in the middle of them — and who you choose to walk through them with.

Sean unpacks why isolation is the enemy of wisdom, why you cannot not decide, and what it actually means to have a compass when life gets heavy. This one is for the person who has been quietly white-knuckling it — carrying the pressure of figuring everything out alone.

It's time to exhale — If you want to go far, go together.

In this episode: personal growth | identity | decision-making | faith and life | overcoming fear | courage | community | self-discovery | parenting and purpose | becoming who you were made to be

What's your why? We ask it about the big things—purpose, calling, meaning. But what's the real motivation behind your everyday life? The text you sent. The prayer you prayed. The favor you did. This episode is an honest look at the motives we hide, even from ourselves.

Sean sits in the mirror with rigorous self-examination and asks the question most of us avoid: what's actually driving me—not the answer that sounds good, but the one underneath it. The why behind the why.

It started with his boss. Sean said his motivation was greatness. His boss asked him, in love, to look closer: was it greatness, or fear?

From there the episode pulls the thread through four mirrors.

Work: love of the craft, or fear of not being enough.

Leadership: do you want the title without the responsibility of actually carrying people? (A nod to Patrick Lencioni's The Motive.)

Faith: do you follow God out of reverence, or for what He'll do for you?

Relationships: do you love people, or leverage them for what you might gain?

None of these motives are automatically evil. But they expose where you are—and who you're becoming.

This isn't an awe-inspiring moment. It's a doorway. An honest look at the life you're actually living. Because when Sean is most at peace, he isn't performing or protecting himself—he's moving toward another person in love, because he's surrendered to what love actually means.

A few questions to sit with:

If people knew you were motivated by obligation, how would they feel?

If you felt fully secure, would you still do the things you do out of fear?

If you knew you were loved for who you are and not what you do—who would you be?

This is a podcast about identity, authenticity, faith, and becoming who you were created to be. If you've ever wondered whether the reasons you give yourself are the real ones, start here.

What is your motivation?