• 142 | F-ck Boy Out, Farm Boy In
    Jun 4 2026

    This week we tackle a 'compound question' from the Discord. A three-part adventure, if you will. Can a Vampire Policeman enter my house if they have a warrant? If you had to set a trap for your co-host, what would you use as bait to guarantee they fall for it? And can the plot leading up to the vampire becoming a policeman and what the warrant is for be explained, as well as the preceding situation leading up to needing a co-host trap?

    Then Eric has a special closing segment for Matt as he departs for his sabbatical.

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    1 hr and 9 mins
  • 141 | Thirsty Thurston
    May 21 2026

    How long is someone allowed to cough in a movie theater before you get someone to kick them out? Then: Lost in the Sauce....what sauce?

    To close this one out, we warm up our Definitive Ranking muscles with a mini-ranking of the Danish Butter Cookies. You know the ones.

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    1 hr and 10 mins
  • 140 | Nature's Balloon
    May 7 2026

    Earth Day was two weeks ago, but that doesn't stop us from dedicating an entire episode to Mother Gaia (okay, mostly dedicated to Mother Gaia). We forego a closing segment to answer three new questions: What is the National Anthem of the Internet? How can I get The Youth to get excited about balloon release alternatives? And what do the trees in the park gossip about?


    "Chocolate Rain" Original Song by Tay Zonday, used in accordance with its Creative Commons license.

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    1 hr and 9 mins
  • 139 | The Tether Keeps Us Humble
    Apr 23 2026

    Is a hose a cord? At what point can someone officially consider themselves "World Renowned/World Famous"?

    It's our first episode under new branding and the Squonk demands a sacrifice...so it's time for Hidden Objectives II.

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    1 hr and 6 mins
  • 138 | The Abe Lincoln Stunt Spectacular
    Apr 9 2026

    Why do we have to “get down to brass tacks?” What happens if brass tacks aren’t enough? What would we upgrade to? And how can we class up our euphamisms for using the bathroom?

    Those answers await before Eric quizzes Matt on his knowledge of hobbies.

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    Go to https://www.patreon.com/youdidntaskforthis to become a member!

    Join our Patreon!

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    You can also leave us a voicemail on The Thoughtline at (410) 929-5329 and we might just play it on the show!

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    1 hr and 1 min
  • 137 | A NIMBY in the Cat Revolution
    Mar 26 2026

    On this episode, we answer:

    • What would happen if humans had a “low battery” warning — what would it look or sound like?
    • Can beggers ever be choosers?

    Then we return to the dark and mysterious halls governed by The Council of Matts in a special Circleback/Follow-up.

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    58 mins
  • 136 | The Seuss Hat Redemption
    Mar 12 2026

    Our questions this week:

    • When does a guess become a guesstimate?
    • You know that expression of incredulity, “if that’s true, I’ll eat my hat?” If you said this and then the thing turned out to be true, which of your hats would you choose to eat, and how would you prepare it for consumption?

    Then, Eric provides Matt with yet another new closing segment: No Context. It's got some visual aids, so check out the Instagram for the full experience.


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    1 hr and 22 mins
  • 135 | The Godfather of Ska
    Feb 26 2026

    What are the worst/next best ways to sign an email instead of "sincerely", "best", etc? We provide some spicier sign-offs for your next work email before answering an age-old question: what are the subjects of Mambos 1-4?

    Then, Eric's got a Pop Quiz for Matt: Baby or Bathwater?

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    1 hr and 5 mins