This week is a messy one.

A short video unexpectedly takes off. The project starts showing real signs of life. A promising new crush enters the picture. A big transition is on the horizon.

By all appearances, things are moving in the right direction.

So why do I feel terrible?

In this episode, I unpack a week of anxiety, self-sabotage, missed goals, strange media rabbit holes, unexpected eating disorder triggers, creative frustration, internet doom, and the uncomfortable realization that I might be much better at surviving bad situations than sustaining good ones.

We talk about the pressure to stay informed in an age of constant catastrophe, the strange loneliness of pursuing work you actually care about, why criticism can linger long after you've stopped respecting the people who gave it, and what happens when success arrives before you've emotionally prepared for it.

It's vulnerable. It's rambling. It's probably more honest than is advisable.

But if you've ever found yourself overwhelmed by a life that is objectively improving, this one's for you.

Thanks for being here.

— V

Accessibility: Detailed episode notes and transcripts for the episode are available on substack 💗

This week, we’re talking about visibility grief, loneliness during reinvention, creator burnout culture, internet gatekeeping, and what happens when your project starts feeling real.

After seven weeks of posting, the numbers are finally moving: shorts are gaining traction, the YouTube channel crossed 5,000 views, and for the first time, I genuinely believe this might work.

But success doesn’t feel the way I thought it would.

In this episode:✷ why becoming visible can feel like grief✷ navigating unsupportive people and scarcity mindsets✷ the emotional reality of building a creative career online✷ why “slow growth” creator advice frustrates me✷ the shift from fear to conviction✷ loneliness, identity change, and learning to protect your energy

Plus: short-form experiments, YouTube milestones, boundary setting, and the realization that attention is not neutral.

Extended notes & HOTGIRL Homework available on substack.

Need a transcript? Unfortunately Spotify only offers accessibility features to large creators (literally what the hell spotify), full transcript for the episode is currently available on substack 💌

ie: how to become impossible to ignore.

Six weeks ago, I was completely paralyzed by fear.

Now? I've gone from zero to over 1K monthly viewers. My channel is growing, strangers are finding my work, opportunities are appearing out of nowhere, and for the first time in a long time, building my dream life actually feels… good.

In this episode, we talk about:

• why “going around the mountain” is often smarter than fighting gatekeepers head-on
• the emotional reality of starting a creative career online from zero
• optimism as rebellion in an algorithmically cynical world
• YouTube growth metrics, early traction, and what the numbers actually mean
• the psychology of identity change
• why generosity creates momentum
• the 100 rejection letter project
• and the exact moment I realized this project might really work.

Also: Spotify roasted me for having zero listeners.

&&& someone I deeply admire found my work this week… and reposted it ♡

Yeah. juicy

We need to talk.

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we have extended shownotes available! ⁠substack ⁠is the exclusive home of bonus articles, resources, and the ever-iconic HOTGIRL HOMEWORK series. we promise to deliver on extra videos, readings, exercises, and/or resources (currently for free!). we're here to support you becoming your dreams. every. single. week.

love you guys, see you there xx

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Accessibility: Need a transcript? Unfortunately the Spotify overlords have not yet granted this show the authority to generate OR upload transcripts (SPOTIFY?? hello?? accessibility much????). Fear Not: all audio episodes are also available on our ⁠substack ⁠💌 which DOES have an excellent transcription feature available 💕🪽

this is what no one tells you about “just start before you’re ready.”

it’s not giving fearless. it’s giving:

• avoidance
• spiraling
• pushing things to tomorrow (again)
• and lowkey feeling like your life might implode if you actually follow through

this bonus episode is a real-time voice note from the edge of doing the thing —
before it’s posted, before the confidence kicks in, while the fear is still loud.

we get into:

• the procrastination loops that look rational but aren’t
• the physical anxiety of being seen (and still choosing it)
• the weird, painful reality of people not supporting you how you expected
• and the shift from abandoning yourself… to actually backing yourself

also: something surprising is happening.

limiting beliefs that used to feel permanent?
they’re… not hitting the same.

and that changes everything.

this one is raw, a little emotional, and honestly kind of a turning point.

if you’ve been circling something you know you need to do —
this is your sign to stop waiting and meet yourself in the middle.

---we have extended shownotes available! substack is the exclusive home of bonus articles, resources, and the ever-iconic HOTGIRL HOMEWORK series. we promise to deliver on extra videos, readings, exercises, and/or resources (currently for free!). we're here to support you becoming your dreams. every. single. week.

love you guys, see you there xx

---

Need a transcript? Unfortunately the Spotify overlords have not yet granted this show the authority to generate OR upload transcripts (SPOTIFY?? hello?? accessibility much????). Fear Not: all audio episodes are also available on our substack which DOES have an excellent transcription feature available 💕

What if hitting $100K in a year wasn’t a fantasy… but a system?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the exact strategy I’m using to go from zero audience, zero momentum, and zero revenue to a $100K+ online business in 12 months — in real time.

This is not a “get rich quick” fantasy. It’s a raw, behind-the-scenes look at what it actually takes to build something from nothing:

• the numbers
• the platforms
• the uncomfortable decisions
• and the moments where it feels like I might be completely screwing up my life

We get into:

• The content strategy I’m betting on (and why I’m prioritizing YouTube over everything else)
• How I’m turning content into multiple income streams (ads, brand deals, digital products, and more)
• The real math behind reaching $100K+ (and what most people get wrong)
• Why I’m forcing myself to make one “bold ask” every week — and what happened when I got ignored
• My unfiltered thoughts on cancel culture vs. “tear-down culture”
• The psychological shift from “I’m different” to “I need to play the game to win”
• And… the slightly unhinged backup plan that could potentially 2–3x my income if everything goes sideways

This episode is part strategy, part therapy session, part live experiment.

If you’ve ever thought about:

• starting an online business
• building a personal brand
• making money from content
• or just getting out of the system and doing your own thing

…this is for you.

I’m not teaching from the finish line.
I’m documenting from the beginning.

And we’re seeing if this actually works.

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If you want access to our exclusive HOTGIRL HOMEWORK selections, please click over to our substack

honestly… not the update i thought i’d be giving this week.

this was supposed to be a “numbers episode” — timelines, growth, what’s actually possible with this project.

and we do get there.

but first, we need to talk about what happens when the people closest to you… don’t really believe in what you’re building.

or worse — they think you’re just “having fun” while your life quietly falls apart.

this is about:

• the weird loneliness of starting something real
• the difference between supportive people vs aligned people
• what it feels like when your world splits in two
• and why i still think this is going to work (like… really work)

also: we finally get into the numbers. the actual ones.

if you’re building something from nothing — this one’s for you.

This week, everything cracked open a little.

I accidentally fell into one of the most inspiring moments in recent history (Artemis II, duh!) (hi, moon mission 😭), I cried about it for 24 hours, and somehow ended up rethinking everything I thought I knew about productivity, creativity, and what it actually means to build a life that feels good.

In this episode we get into identity, mindset, and what it actually feels like to start building something from zero. I talk about the trap of optimization culture, why I’m choosing resiliency instead, and the uncomfortable reality of putting yourself online before you feel ready.

We're talking:

– blowing my own deadline (lol)

– obsessively checking YouTube stats… and then stopping

– the rule I made about not letting body image stop me from posting

– why the “worst” take ended up being the best one

– what it felt like to see strangers actually connect with my work

– and the very uncomfortable realization that… being myself actually works

Also: a very real update from the trenches of starting a YouTube channel from zero (we hit 24 subscribers 🥲)

This is a real-time documentation of building a creative life and platform from the ground up — no audience, no strategy, just figuring it out as I go. If you’re in the messy middle of starting something, this one’s for you. No hindsight. No polished advice. Just the process.

ily guys.

and BIG shout out to our astronauts!! thank you for inspiring the whole world, welcome home 🩷🌔🌏