Showing results by author "Morris Gleitzman" in All Categories

"Charge!" came Gramps' excited voice. I gasped. The frog general was as big as a full-grown cow. He started to roll his tongue back into his mouth. He was going to slurp me up and slide me down his throat.

"I burst out of a clump of bushes and froze. Silhouetted against the moonlit sky were several massive shapes. What if Eileen had infected something else? What if the hospital had cockroaches? Or bedbugs? What if the frogs weren't all dead? I stifled a scream."

'Ouch,' said Limpy. 'Why's my back hurting?' A horrible thought hit him. Perhaps it was a fork wound. Perhaps while he was unconscious the human had tried to eat him. He looked around. 'Stack me,' said Limpy. All he could see was blue plastic. Limpy's on a quest to find toad heaven. A place where cane toads won't be blown up with bike pumps or bashed over the head with folding chairs. Limpy's determined to find this place if it takes the rest of his life. But first he has to get out of the bucket.

I gulped. My mouth was dry. How could I tell her? How could I just announce that her son¿s innards had been sucked out by giant worms and that his skin was probably flapping somewhere in the morning breeze? I turned away, struggling to find the words.

"I'm only going to say this once more," said Dad, "so listen very carefully. We are not ever, under any circumstances, going to Australia." What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are misery guts? Move them to a tropical paradise, decides Keith. That'll cheer them up. It's a brilliant plan, if he can pull it off.

Even more desperate to save his family from ending up on his stack of squashed relatives, Limpy takes his quest to the airwaves. When a TV cooking show kidnaps Goliath to be their main ingredient, Limpy sets out to rescue him and ends up on camera himself. Can Limpy use his 15 minutes of fame to get humans to lay off the cane-toad squashing? Or will that be a recipe for disaster?

Like many of his mates from the bush, Frank Ballantyne is keen to join the grand adventure and do his bit. Specially as a chestfull of medals might impress the currently unimpressed parents of his childhood sweetheart. So Frank ups his age and volunteers with his horse, Daisy...and his dad. In the deserts of Egypt and Palestine he experiences all the adventure he ever wanted, and a few things he wasn't expecting. Heartbreak, love, and the chance to make the most important choice of his life.

"'There he is', Gramps shrieked. 'The Spy. The scumbag spy.' I looked up and saw a monstrous white hairy face disappear into the drain. I had never seen such a frightening sight. White hair covered its entire head. I couldn't even see any eyes. In a flash Gramps splashed into the drain after it."

On the other side of the fence horrible, gobbling squeals came from THE SLOBBERERS as they fought over the bloody trail I had left behind.

Brilliantly funny short stories for middle school listeners from the ever-popular Morris Gleitzman, in the hilarious style of Give Peas a Chance, Pizza Cake and Snot Chocolate! These short stories are equally funny and hopeful – at a time when we need as much hope and humour as we can get.

A young Aussie soccer genius and his 10-year-old manager take on the world. And win. For a time. A funny and moving story from one of Australia's most entertaining authors.

Eleven-year-old Grace only knows one world: the world of her mum and dad and twin brothers, and the strict religious community they belong to. But when her dad is thrown out of the church for asking questions, Grace is torn. How can she stay in the church and keep her family together?

A story of friendship, courage and a bit of crime. Bridget wants a quiet life, including, if possible, keeping her parents out of prison. Then a boy called Menzies makes her an offer she can't refuse, and they set off on a job of their own. It's a desperate, daring plan, to rescue two kids, Jamal and Bibi, from a desert detention centre. Can Bridget and Menzies pull off their very first jail break, or will they end up behind bars too? Sometimes to help a friend, you have to dig deep.

Rowena Batts has enough problems in her life without adopting a crazy cockatoo. She's just splattered two hundred grown-ups with jelly and custard, and her dad's getting married to her teacher. But Sticky the cockatoo turns out to be just the friend she needs.

Thomas is eleven and lives with his mum and dad and big sister, Alisha. He was a pretty normal kid until two weeks ago, when he discovered he had developed a startling new ability. Every time anyone tells a lie, Thomas develops a violent itch in his nipples. It's uncomfortable, embarrassing, and gets Thomas into all sorts of trouble.

Tři roky a osm měsíců žije devítiletý Felix Salinger v odlehlém katolickém sirotčinci v horách, ačkoli není katolického vyznání. Jeho rodiče nejsou mrtví. Přivedli ho k matce Mince, představené jeptišek, aby se měl dobře. A určitě si pro něj brzy přijdou, jak Felix věří, jen co vyřeší potíže, které mají se svým knihkupectvím. Protože židovští knihkupci to mají v Polsku roku 1942 těžké. Jak moc těžké, to Felix pochopí, až když se v sirotčinci objeví muži s podivnými páskami na rukávech a začnou vyhazovat a pálit židovské knihy z místní knihovny.

From the author who created the memorable world of Toad Rage comes another highly infectious tale of a brave microscopic hero who is unexpectedly propelled from his familiar nostril-home into the big wide dangerous world. In Aristotle's Nostril Morris features a whole new cast of funny and gross characters that kids will love.

Bigger and fatter than all the other microbes in the valley, Wilton feels ostracized and out of place. But even more worryingly, their world has become unhealthy and toxic with mass illness and flash storms. Setting out to find out what is wrong, Wilton meets Algy, a tiny microbe small enough to sit on his shoulder (and take refuge in his guts) who accompanies Wilton on his quest.

Where do you get a top grandmother at short notice? It's not easy, but Pearl's got Winston to help her, and you can do anything when your best friend is the world's brainiest guinea pig. Then Pearl meets Gran, and the surprises begin.

Where do you get a top grandmother at short notice? It's not easy, but Pearl's got Winston to help her, and you can do anything when your best friend is the world's brainiest guinea pig. Then Pearl meets Gran, and the surprises begin.