Showing results by narrator "Arte Johnson" in All Categories

In October 1872, the fastidious Phileas Fogg—a British gentleman who rarely ventures outside the comforts of home or his beloved club—bets his compatriots that he can travel around the entire world in just eighty days. With his newly hired valet, Passepartout, as his traveling companion, Fogg embarks on a wild journey, traversing the continents. He is determined not to lose the bet, no matter what obstacles arise—and they do arise—in this classic tale of adventure and romance!

What do bestselling writers Sue Grafton, Danielle Steel, and Tom Clancy all have in common? They've all been murdered in a manner both gruesome and appropriate to their style. An extremely paranoid Stephen King is convinced that he will be the next victim, so he leaves his heavily-barricaded...

A tale of revenge and technological endeavor set on our solar system's most desolate stage Despite Mercury's desolateness, there are still those who hope to find diamonds in the rough. Saito Yamagata thinks Mercury's position will make it an ideal orbit point for satellites that could someday...

Now a major motion picture! Everyone deserves a second chance on the course--and in life. Join golf pro Wally Armstrong and author Ken Blanchard as they condense decades of practical know-how into a simple book with an incredible, inspiring message: sometimes we all need a mulligan. Meet Paul...

Now is not the time to start that fitness program! Instead, laugh along with humorist Dave Barry as he debunks, demotivates, and delights on the subject of fitness. Hear his inimitable views on exercise ("the best time would be the first thing after Easter, but not the one coming up"), weights ("big-time lifters have turned into 400-pound hairy sweaty shapeless grunting masses of tissue. And the men are even worse"), and much more.

America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries is now the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, her beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery.

Retired private detective and current seventh grader Steve Brixton has a new career: taking out the garbage on Wednesdays for five bucks a week. But it’s hard to leave the old game behind, and on a train trip down the California coast, Steve finds himself pulled back into sleuthing. Soon...

Now a Netflix animated film starring Will Forte, Maya Rudolph, Alessia Cara, Terry Crews, Martin Short, Jane Krakowski, Séan Cullen, and Ricky Gervais! From the Newbery Medal-winning author of The Giver and Number the Stars, comes a "hilarious" (Booklist, starred review) and wonderfully...

Steve Brixton is America’s next great kid detective (and now he has his own agency to prove it)…. When twelve-year-old detective Steve Brixton gets a call that the Fairview diamond has gone missing, there are only two things to do: grab his new business cards and take the case! But Steve...

Steve Brixton always wanted to be a detective . . . until he found out he already was one. It all starts here: the thrilling story of Steve Brixton’s first case. Our hero has a national treasure to recover, a criminal mastermind to unmask, and a social studies report due Monday—all while on...

A wickedly funny novel from the New York Times bestselling author of Squeeze Me in which the greedy, the corrupt, and the degraders of what’s left of pristine Florida—now, of the Bahamas as well—get their comeuppance. “[A] comedic marvel … [Hiaasen] hasn’t written a novel this funny...

Intrigue, crime, and murder create suspense in this edge-of-your-seat collection of cat mystery stories whose plots are all centered on a beloved feline, written by some of the finest, best-selling mystery writers of all time.

If there's even a smidgen of Scrooge in your psyche, just say, "Bah-Humbug!" and laugh at this satire of the treacly best seller, The Christmas Box. Among the variations on the theme are: The Christmas Vox, in which a young man finds himself having phone sex with Ms. Santa Claus; The Christmas Jury Box, a touching memoir by a sequestered O.J. juror who misses her fruitcake; and The Christmas Box Lunch, the touching tale of a caterer's X-mas. You'll be pleased to learn that the true meaning of Christmas is receiving.

If the Watergate scandal was a national nightmare, then maybe the Bill Clinton scandal was a national wet dream, and who better to narrate it than Joe Eszterhas, screenwriter of such lurid films as Basic Instinct and Showgirls? In American Rhapsody, Eszterhas takes us through the events that threatened to topple a president and left most of the nation's citizens with, at the very least, a bad taste in their mouths. Here, Washington and Hollywood do more than just flirt with each other—they share the same bed.

This collection features a selection of classic short stories and poems by legendary Western authors Stephen Crane, Bret Harte, and Jack London.

From the grand old man of comedy, George Burns, to the up-to-the minute observations of today's everyman, Dave Barry, these great humorists share one thing in common: their very individual, often raucously funny perceptions of the world around them.

One of America's most beloved social commentators—Pulitzer Prize-winning and bestselling author Russell Baker—followed up his bestselling memoir, The Good Times, with this collection of his best New York Times columns, dating back to 1962. There' s a Country in My Cellar covers Baker's usual wide range of topics, told in a wonderfully funny style, and many of which are profoundly serious beneath the banter.

Ever notice how bad song lyrics get stuck in your head? It's not just you. After Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry's column about this tendency, reader response was enormous. But Barry didn't know what he was getting himself into when he invited his Legion of Alert Readers to submit their nominees in the Bad Song Survey. "Song badness," he soon learned, "is an issue that Americans care deeply about."

Blackstone Audio presents An American Family Shakespeare Entertainment: Based on Charles & Mary Lamb's 20 Tales From Shakespeare, augmented by miscellaneous scenes and soliloquies from Shakespeare's plays, featuring Elizabethan songs and dances in new arrangements for stringed instruments.

An entertaining collection by seven renowned American mystery writers— including Mary Higgins Clark and Whitley Strieber— this anthology offers a delightful mix of mystery, suspense, and murder.