Showing results by narrator "Jessica Almasy" in All Categories

The rich bloodsuckers don’t want to pay taxes. Too bad, so sad. They’re the least of my problems right now. At the wise suggestion of my beloved mate, I indulge in a little retail therapy so I don’t dismember the pissed-off crew of greedy Vamps who don’t want to pay their fair share. How could a trip to the happiest place on earth a.k.a. Target go wrong? Let me count the ways....

One might think fighting the bad guy and coming out on top would earn me a vacation… One would be wrong. I’d stirred up a hornet’s nest that could end existence as we know it. Not my best move. I know more about acting than Goddess-ing, but that won’t stop me. I’m about to assume the character and plow though the script to the very end even though I’m wildly underrehearsed and more adept at sitcoms than action movies with real life consequences. Too bad, so sad.

Sun and naughty fun is off the docket. Eliminating deadly Dhampirs is at the top of the to-do list. Crap. How in the ever-loving heck does a bloody note written on a paper towel and rag magazines left by Satan turn into a Vamp-hunt for idiots who think creating Dhampirs to attain world domination is a smooth move? The secret life of the entire Vampyre species is now on the line.

Fifteen years ago, a murder/suicide in room 712 rocked the grand old Bellweather Hotel and the young bridesmaid who witnessed it. Now hundreds of high school musicians, including quiet bassoonist Rabbit Hatmaker and his brassy diva twin, Alice, have gathered in its cavernous, crumbling halls for the annual Statewide festival; the grown-up bridesmaid has returned to face her demons; and a snowstorm is forecast that will trap everyone on the grounds. Then one of the orchestra’s stars disappears—from room 712.

Sorcerer Marla Mason, small-time guardian of the city of Felport, has a big problem. A rival is preparing a powerful spell that could end Marla's life - and, even worse, wreck her city. Marla's only chance of survival is to boost her powers with the Cornerstone, a magical artifact hidden somewhere in San Francisco. But when she arrives there, Marla finds that the quest isn't going to be quite as cut-and-dried as she expected...

Imprisoned in the heart of a secret military base, Em has nothing except the voice of the boy in the cell next door and the list of instructions she finds taped inside the drain. Only Em can complete the final instruction. She's tried everything to prevent the creation of a time machine that will tear the world apart. She holds the proof: a list she has never seen before, written in her own hand. Each failed attempt in the past has led her to the same terrible present - imprisoned and tortured by a sadistic man called the doctor while war rages outside.

Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.

The show must go on…even if it takes a U-turn into Hell. I have too much to lose if Pandora wins. With the love of my demonic life by my side, along with the profane, toothpick-loving Keeper of Fate, and a cast of inappropriate characters, I’m going to embrace this starring role. I have to. If I can’t solve the problem of unboxing the box, my life as I know it will be over. No TV show, no close-up, and, definitely, no Emmy. So, I’m onto my next gig. I have no clue how the episode will end.

Art student Maya Cantescu has always had secrets to keep - her mysterious disease that has turned her into something like a vampire, her father's obsession with ritual magic, her own talents for the occult. Now, however, she has a secret far more dangerous than those: in self-defense, she killed a man with magic. Can her lover, the wealthy, powerful runemaster Tor Thorlaksson, protect her from the consequences? He has dangers of his own to face, because his family's evil past haunts him.

I just lived through a dream state mash-up of The Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland and Survivor. You’d think I’d catch a break. You would be incorrect. After successfully evicting my mortal enemy—now frenemy—who was squatting in my head, and making friends with fanged munchkins who bare uncanny resemblances to Hollywood A-listers, I now have a new enemy—a really powerful and vengeful enemy.

Roseline Enescue didn't ask to become an immortal, to have all of the guests at her wedding slaughtered, or to be forced into marriage with a man whose lust for blood would one day ignite the vampire legend. Willing to risk everything for a chance at a normal life, Roseline escapes to America. But her transition into the human world isn't easy. Mortal men flock after her while cutthroat girls plot her demise. Yet she remains relatively unfazed until she meets Gabriel Marston.

Roseline is left with questions that refuse answers and only the memory of a man she vows to hunt and kill. But to do so, she must call a truce with her sworn enemy. Together Roseline and Nicolae track Fane to the underbelly of London in search of Gabriel's kidnappers. Yet when Malachi - an Immortal with mystifying origin - presents himself as their guide, Roseline discovers she is not the only one looking for Gabriel.

Try on a little magic with this lighthearted fantasy adventure! For fans of the Land of Stories and the Descendants series. “A charming new fairy tale! Readers won’t want this adventure to end!” —Jessica Day George, New York Times bestselling author of Tuesdays at the Castle Inside an...

Katie has successfully reached the third floor of the dungeon in which she accidentally stranded herself, but with enemies both ahead and behind her, she’s having to fight hard for every step she takes. Still, at least she finally found an ally, even if that ally was her.

Is middle school drama scarier than an asteroid heading for Earth? Find out in this smart and funny novel by the author of The Miscalculations of Lightning Girl. Every day in middle school can feel like the end of the world. Eleanor Dross knows a thing or two about the end of the world, thanks...

Sixteen-year-old Lex Bartleby is a teenage grim reaper with the bizarre ability to Damn souls. That makes her pretty scary, even to fellow Grims. But after inadvertently transferring her ability to Zara, a murderous outlaw, Lex is a pariah in Croak, the little town she calls home. To escape the townspeople’s wrath, she and her friends embark on a wild road trip to DeMyse. Though this sparkling desert oasis is full of luxuries and amusements, it feels like a prison to Lex.

Perfect for fans of The Babysitters Club and anyone interested in computer science, this series is published in partnership with the organization Girls Who Code! It's almost time for the talent show at school, and Erin couldn't be more excited. It's her time to take center stage! Plus, she and...

If someone had told me a year ago that I was about to fall in love, go on an epic road trip, ride a Triceratops, sing on a bar, and lose my virginity, I would have assumed they were on drugs. Well, that is, until I met Beckham. Beck was mostly to blame for my recklessness.

No rest for the wicked... or anyone else! Welcome to the world of Marla Mason, part-time goddess of death and former chief sorcerer of the Felport. It is a world full of snark, violence, weirdness, bad choices with surprising consequences, friendship, betrayal, villainous living severed heads, magic motorcycles, axes made of fragments of moonlight, monsters from beyond the multiverse, and other delights.

Someone wants Marla Mason dead. Usually that's not news. As chief sorcerer of Felport, someone always wants her dead. But this time she's the target of a renegade assassin who specializes in killing his victims over days, months, or even years. Not to mention a mysterious knife-wielding killer in black who pops up in the most unexpected places.