What goes up and down more than a yo-yo? My feelings towards my high school boyfriend!!! Things are getting even MORE unhinged over here.

It's 2007 and I've just gotten accepted into college. I've taken a year off to save for college and am working two jobs. The only thing standing in the way of my ambition is the fact that I am getting blackout drunk almost every single night. Oh, and then there's the super nice guy I'm dating but can't wait to get away from. <3

"I hate him thinking that I hate him," is a line I repeat again and again and also can't seem to stop. Also, "I was having a really good time until my boyfriend showed up," is a common theme.

This episode shows my state of mind and how rocky things are following my parents' separation. The on-again/off-again relationship with Corey is so hard on on us both and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it.

Although nothing catastrophic happens in this episode, I can hear what a hard time I am having, and it hurts my heart.

I end this episode with the very early seedlings of forgiveness work (Ugh.) and also a HUGE cliffhanger. WHAT HAPPENED WITH DAVE?!?! SORRY!

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

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Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

This is a special/different episode where I expand on last week's episode and read the poem that inspired it all. <3 This is one of my favourite poems I've ever written and it was published in Gulf Stream last year.

I talk a little about how cohesive my creative life is right now - this podcast often informs and bleeds into my Substack, which often bleeds into my 52 Essays Project, which then informs my work as an abortion doula, which informs everything else.

Here is a link to the essay I read, where you can see my poem.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

Content Note: This episode explicitly mentions sexual assault. Please take gentle care when listening.

If you're struggling with Sexual Assault or Abuse, text the word HOPE to 64673. They'll help, I promise. <3

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Ooof, this one is a tough one <3 Everything was going fine - you know, just the regular stuff: sex, drugs, strip clubs, and bong riffs. And then, towards the end of the episode, I have an epiphany and you will hear me having a spiritual experience in real time. Vulnerability hangover, here I COME!

I start this episode with a heartbreaking letter to my amazing boyfriend, trying to explain why I have been so distant lately. It turns out that divorce still impacts kids, even when they're all grown up. >_< Also, it turns out I'm super gay.

I'm healing from my car accident and only working part-time. I'm out of high school but haven't decided on college. My boyfriend is alternating between being mad at me and loving me so much I can't take it. I spend an awesome week in Florida with Corey and his family. My sister moves out. My Dad and I bond. I know I need to come out soon but I'm still very much in the closet. (As in, I'm making out with girls in closets.)

Then, I get a visit from someone from my past that rocks me. It rocks me again to read about it now.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support