What goes up and down more than a yo-yo? My feelings towards my high school boyfriend!!! Things are getting even MORE unhinged over here.

It's 2007 and I've just gotten accepted into college. I've taken a year off to save for college and am working two jobs. The only thing standing in the way of my ambition is the fact that I am getting blackout drunk almost every single night. Oh, and then there's the super nice guy I'm dating but can't wait to get away from. <3

"I hate him thinking that I hate him," is a line I repeat again and again and also can't seem to stop. Also, "I was having a really good time until my boyfriend showed up," is a common theme.

This episode shows my state of mind and how rocky things are following my parents' separation. The on-again/off-again relationship with Corey is so hard on on us both and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it.

Although nothing catastrophic happens in this episode, I can hear what a hard time I am having, and it hurts my heart.

I end this episode with the very early seedlings of forgiveness work (Ugh.) and also a HUGE cliffhanger. WHAT HAPPENED WITH DAVE?!?! SORRY!

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

This is a special/different episode where I expand on last week's episode and read the poem that inspired it all. <3 This is one of my favourite poems I've ever written and it was published in Gulf Stream last year.

I talk a little about how cohesive my creative life is right now - this podcast often informs and bleeds into my Substack, which often bleeds into my 52 Essays Project, which then informs my work as an abortion doula, which informs everything else.

Here is a link to the essay I read, where you can see my poem.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

Content Note: This episode explicitly mentions sexual assault. Please take gentle care when listening.

If you're struggling with Sexual Assault or Abuse, text the word HOPE to 64673. They'll help, I promise. <3

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Ooof, this one is a tough one <3 Everything was going fine - you know, just the regular stuff: sex, drugs, strip clubs, and bong riffs. And then, towards the end of the episode, I have an epiphany and you will hear me having a spiritual experience in real time. Vulnerability hangover, here I COME!

I start this episode with a heartbreaking letter to my amazing boyfriend, trying to explain why I have been so distant lately. It turns out that divorce still impacts kids, even when they're all grown up. >_< Also, it turns out I'm super gay.

I'm healing from my car accident and only working part-time. I'm out of high school but haven't decided on college. My boyfriend is alternating between being mad at me and loving me so much I can't take it. I spend an awesome week in Florida with Corey and his family. My sister moves out. My Dad and I bond. I know I need to come out soon but I'm still very much in the closet. (As in, I'm making out with girls in closets.)

Then, I get a visit from someone from my past that rocks me. It rocks me again to read about it now.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

Content Note: This episode mentions suicidal ideation, suicide, drug abuse, a car accident, and mental health in a way that might be hard for some listeners. Please take gentle care. If you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime.

---

In this episode, I dive headfirst into something I was avoiding during my last episode.

In the summer of 2016, on the cusp of adulthood, my mother left. I thought I remembered it correctly, but reading back on these diaries, I realize my memories aren't my memories. My memories. It's such a strange sensation to read what's true instead of what I've imagined to be true for 20+ years. But, in this episode, I am trying to be brave.

There's some pages ripped out and so much sadness, which I always thought was anger.

I also read more about what's going on with Corey. Louis re-enters my life. I am in a horrible car accident and severely depressed. It's a tough episode but worth listening to.

The essay I refer to in this episode can be found here: https://themondayclub.substack.com/p/sharing-a-cigarette-with-my-mother

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

Content Notes: This episode centers around postpartum anxiety and depression. It might be a tender one for some listeners.

---

Kristina Percy (she/ her) is an actuary by training who has somehow found herself the author of a book of poems, almost none of which are about math.

In 2019, she started writing e-mails to herself and her kids to work through what would later be diagnosed as postpartum anxiety. For over a year, it manifested as an all-consuming, uncontrollable rage.

In this episode, Kristina generously reads some of those e-mails and doesn't hold back. Excuse me while I gush over how brave and honest my friend is. <3

Through tears and courage, Kristina shares how she made it to the other side. One of my favourite lines from this interview was, "I had so much support once I asked for it."

In 2024, Kristina's book Both True was the runner-up in Button's 2024 Poetry Chapbook Contest. It was one of five books I gave a 10/10 rating in 2025 and think you absolutely need to read it. You can find it here: https://buttonpoetry.com/product/both-true/ Listen to the end of this episode to hear Kristina read a brand new poem titled, I Had a Baby and Now Anything Will Make Me Cry.

Here is the article by Minna Dubin that was referenced in the interview: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/mother-rage.html

If you are in need of postpartum support, you can text “Help” to 800-944-4773 anytime or go to PSI's website: https://postpartum.net/get-help/

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

In this special edition BIRTHDAY episode, Yoda answers a few listener questions including:

- Why Doula of Words?

- How has sobriety impacted your writing practice?

- Are you ever worried someone will read your diaries?

Yoda also goes deep into her poetry archives and reads several deep, dark poems, which we really hope you enjoy! <3

Thank you so much for listening! We couldn't do this without you!!!!!!!!!

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

We're back in 2006 and I am struggling to balance being madly in love with my boyfriend and my new girl crush, along with working full-time, finishing high school, and planning for prom. Oh, and also, I go to a strip club and stuff gets crazy. Yes. I am 17.

Every time I enter a room, I am filled with near-crippling anxiety, believing everyone hates me and thinks I'm a liar. I want to open up and tell Corey everything, but it feels impossible to let him see the real me. So, I pull away and start making out with girls at parties.

There's a lot happening in this one and most of it breaks my heart. My bestie thinks I'm a "mean girl" and I am drowning in my adult responsibilities. I barely see my friends in this one, and barely notice my Mom is weeks away from leaving my Dad. It's a heavy one but I hope you enjoy hearing me forgive myself in real time <3

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

In this episode, I get the fuck out nof Brisbane (no shade!) and start a whole new life in Perth, WA. There's ups, there's downs. There's sex, drugs, and soooo much alcohol.

In Western Oz, I get a job and make juuuust enough money to blow it all on an EPIC roadtrip across the south coast of Australia. I make two of the best friends a girl can ask for, get two back-to-back bouts of food poisoning, spend a day on an $8 million yacht, and almost hook up with my friend's brother. (???) Then, I make it back to Sydney just in time to meet Jessa where it all started... Bondi Beach!

This episode is full of lust and longing... and so many lessons. I hate how it ends, but I kindof love it too.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support