Showing results by narrator "Teresa-May Whittaker" in All Categories

Mary Brown is funny, gorgeous, and bonkers. She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins "Fat Club", where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye.

Still bruised from his rough pegging by the anarcho-syndicalist aviatrix Miss Olga Komenevna, Archie Duntisbourne is compelled to visit the family home of his new fiancee, Miss Alyssa Bucklesham, where he discovers that his mother-in-law-to-be holds even more extreme views as to the discipline required by the male sex than her daughter. There are spankings and floggings galore, and Archie is required to take an oral exam to provide that he is a suitable partner for the Bucklesham heiress.

Entrapped by a curious codicil in his great-aunt’s will into a cruel regime of sexual denial, the hapless Archie Duntisbourne continues to suffer at the hands of the British Women’s Association for the Eradication of Vice. As the date of his enforced nuptials draws near, Archie wonders if he can escape his arranged marriage to Miss Bucklesham, or if must he look forward to a lifetime of sexual torment and flagellation from his wife-to-be and mother-in-law? A headlong gallop through a neo-Victorian retro-futurist world in which fiercely determined women hold the whip hand.

Hooray, it's Christmas! It's the Adorable Fat Girl's favorite time of year, and she embraces it with the sort of thrill and excitement normally reserved for toddlers seeing jelly tots. Our funny, gorgeous, and bonkers heroine finds herself dancing from party to party, covered in tinsel, decorating the Beckhams' Christmas tree, dressing up as Father Christmas, declaring live on This Morning that she's a drug addict and enjoying two Christmas lunches in quick succession. She's the party queen as she stumbles wildly from disaster to disaster....

Mary Brown - our full-figured heroine - is off on a cruise. It's the trip of a lifetime...featuring eat-all-you-can buffets and a trek through Europe with a 96-year-old widower called Frank and a flamboyant Spanish dancer called Juan Pedro. Then there's the desperately handsome captain, the appearance of an ex-boyfriend on the ship, the time she's mistaken for a Hollywood film star in Lisbon, and tons of clothes shopping all over Europe.

The adorable fat girl needs to do something to get fit, so she tries yoga. She signs up for a weekend retreat, packs up assorted snacks, and heads for the countryside to get in touch with her chi and her third eye. And that's when it all goes wrong. Featuring frantic chickens, an unexpected mud bath, men in loose-fitting shorts and no pants, calamitous headstands, a bizarre new friendship with a yoga guru, and a quick hospital trip.

Idle dilettante Archie Duntisbourne thinks his luck has turned when he hears of an inheritance from his eccentric great-aunt Agatha. But the inheritance comes with bizarre and unexpected conditions. The young man must submit to the discipline of a fanatical women's organization dedicated to the suppression of onanism and the reformation of the male gender. Archie finds himself under the control of the beautiful but despotic Miss Harper, who intends to train him to control his desires, urges and habits.

Mary Brown is funny, gorgeous, and bonkers. She's also about 50lbs overweight. When she realises that she can't cross her legs and has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, it's time to take action. So, one rainy day she puts down her pizza and heads off to Fat Club, where she flirts, causes mayhem, and celebrates every pound lost with a huge glass of wine.

The British Women’s Association for the Eradication of Vice is riven by factional dispute as to the most effective way to repress and control male sexuality. The hapless Archie Duntisbourne finds himself caught between the faction of his cock-teasing fiance, Miss Alyssa Bucklesham, and that of his cruel tormentrix Miss Evelyn Harper, as each seeks to recruit him to spy on the plans of the other. But the women of Mrs Hennessey’s anarcho-syndicalist brothel, who are dedicated enemies of the Association, have other plans for Archie.

Mary Brown is the star of the Adorable Fat Girl series. She's funny, gorgeous, and bonkers, and when the series starts, she's seriously overweight. She heads for Fat Club and slowly starts to lose weight. The novels tell the tales of the fun she has and the people she meets as she battles the pounds. As well as having a crazy amount of fun, she also loses weight...a massive 40 pounds! How did she do it? Here in this audiobook - for the first time - she describes the rules that helped her. Also included are the stories of readers who have written in to share their weight loss stories.

A chance meeting with an old school friend sends Mary Brown off on three fabulous adventures. First, it’s to a safari in South Africa. She arrives dressed like Meryl Streep in Out of Africa and ends the trip stuck in a tree wearing nothing but her knickers.

Hooray, it's Christmas! Mary Brown's favorite time of year, and she embraces it with the sort of thrill and excitement normally reserved for toddlers seeing jelly tots. Our funny, gorgeous, and bonkers heroine finds herself dancing from party to party, covered in tinsel, decorating the Beckhams' Christmas tree, dressing up as Father Christmas, declaring live on This Morning that she's a drug addict, and enjoying two Christmas lunches in quick succession.

An idler no longer, Archie Duntisbourne is now married to the lascivious Alyssa Buckleshame and subject to her own cruel variant of sexual denial. But he is also a Conservative Member of Parliament with special ministerial responsibility for the Air-Navy, a fact that is not lost on the fanatical British Women’s Association for the Eradication of Vice, who seek to use his position to impose involuntary chastity on all serving aeronauts; and Archie’s anarcho-syndicalist comrades, want him to steal the plans for the Empire’s newest and most powerful steam-dirigible.

When artist Violet Brooke leaves her engagement ring on top of a Chinese wedding cabinet and runs away from the trendy apartment in London’s Brick Lane, there’s only one place to go - Sunrise Cottage. All she wants is to cosy up in her rural retreat, concentrate on her painting and forget about Jayden Fox, bad boy of the East End art scene - he’s certainly forgotten about her. The last thing she needs is romance. Then handsome antique dealer Max Finch shows up in the middle of a field, and the problem is, he’s impossible to resist. 

Imagine that Leopold von Sacher-Masoch goes for a night of absinthe-fuelled depravity with Jules Verne, and the two writers plan a collaborative work of erotica together. The manuscript is lost, but is then rediscovered by H.P. Lovecraft, who makes certain changes to the narrative, retaining the erotic and the technological, but adding in elements of weird horror. The result would be a little like The Eradication of Vice series—gothic steampunk femdom.

Sophie is a beautiful housewife on the brink of a midlife crisis, unhappy with her husband. Juliette, a passionate optimist, struggles to make ends meet in a society that stereotypes single mothers. Evelyn, a shy novelist, is looking for the university to help her step out of the shadows. Ann, after being disabled after a serious accident, yearns for fulfillment in a cruel world. And then there's Will, a teenager who longs to sever the shackles of family and religion. As five paths collide, they're presented with the same question: What is your dream?

Sometimes there is only a pole between survival and starvation. For Jessica Hughes, this is her reality. At 21, she’s single-handedly supporting her two younger brothers and her four-year-old daughter while paying off her deadbeat mother's gambling debts. Her life may seem like crap to others, but Jess knows it could be worse. Then, Hunter O'Shea walks back into her life and drops a bombshell - a secret that could destroy everything they once had. Once again, Jess finds herself picking up the pieces of her broken heart.

Independent woman to her core, Brooke Archer has always been happy to hit it and quit it with the men in her life. But when her beloved nan suffers from poor health, Brooke realizes just how precious life is and decides it’s time to face her daddy issues and seek out her estranged father. Without so much as a name or photo and a cagey mum withholding vital information, it’s going to be no easy task.

The battle is won, but the war has just begun. Evil stalks the Island-World as the Marshal of Herimor and his Dragon-slaying hordes put nation after nation to the sword. The haunting cry of the Nurguz summons all Dragonkind to their doom. None can resist. But Marshal Re'akka and his all-conquering Dragon Assassins are not the only trouble on the horizon. For there is a new Dragoness finding her wings, and she will stop at nothing to protect her loved ones. She is Pip the Pygmy Dragon.

Mary Brown, our fabulous, full-figured heroine, is off on safari with an old school friend. What could possibly go wrong? Lots of things, it turns out. Mary starts off on the wrong foot by turning up dressed in a ribbon-bedecked bonnet, having channeled Meryl Streep from Out of Africa. She falls in lust with a khaki-clad ranger half her age and ends up stuck in a tree wearing nothing but her knickers while sandwiched between two inquisitive baboons.